Scientifically Verified

Financial stress is killing my marriage: How to cope together

March 14, 2024
6 min 30 sec
Written by
Written by

The health of our love lives often reflects the health of our most bank accounts. When your finances are in trouble, it’s common for stress to take over everyday interactions with your partner. It's a harsh and palpable reality for many couples today. 

This post is not intended to be just another article about personal finance. Here, we will focus on understanding not only how money can strain even the strongest relationships, but also how, together, you can move forward together. Because yes, even though financial stress seems like an insurmountable issue, together, as a team, you can find your way to a stronger, more secure relationship.

Get ready to learn and, hopefully, find the tools to work on your marriage.

How do you know if financial stress is killing your marriage?

Are you constantly arguing about money or worse, avoiding the topic for fear of conflict? Have you ever felt resentment over differences in spending habits? Sometimes, one partner may feel that he or she is carrying a greater burden or that his or her concerns are not understood or shared by the other. 

These symptoms might not seem like much at first, but it can slowly deteriorate the foundation of trust and communication in your marriage that is essential to any healthy relationship.

The most important thing is to identify these signs early. Often all you need to do is ask yourself these questions:

Do you find yourself discussing bills or expenses more often than you did before?

Do you avoid talking about your personal finances, your partner’s or the couples shared accounts?

Do they feel that money is taboo in your conversations?

These are common patterns, and as with any problem, recognizing them is the first step in addressing financial stress effectively, because by understanding financial stress and its effects on your marriage, you can begin to work on the growing tensions affecting your relationship.

Common types of financial stress that strain marriages

Let's look at different situations, all of them hypothetical and invented, but in which you might recognize your own relationship and be able to take action to fix things.

Mounting debt and/or not making ends meet at the end of the month

Whether it’s credit card debt, student loans or mortgages, being in debt is a financial stress on its own. But when you’re in debt as a couple, it can go one of two ways: you either face it as a rock-solid team or let it become your only topic of conversation. 

What starts as a minor concern soon becomes the focus of your conversations, taking over your dreams and preventing you from moving forward. 

In this situation, the tension can be reduced by deciding to act together, and confidently setting up a payment plan, for example. Instead of arguing about the mere fact that you’re in debt, discuss it openly and from a peaceful perspective. 

The challenge of saving for the future

Consider a couple who dream of buying a large, creekside home to raise their children in, but constantly encounter obstacles to saving money. 

Unexpected expenses always seem to pop up at the wrong time, don’t they? Your goal, whether it’s that beautiful home, a new car, or a college fund for the little ones, can seem farther and farther away as the bills pile up and money goes out as quickly as it comes in. 

Again, act together! Set a common goal, figure out your priorities, make a list of superfluous expenses and get a hold of the situation. 

Do you recognize any of these situations? We all, at some point, face similar challenges, so you are not alone in this. However, what is really important is not only identifying these situations, but how you choose to deal with them.

Why you should use Oneleaf

Evidence-based guided self-hypnosis programs
Designed and approved by doctors
100% natural and drug free
Accessible anytime, anywhere
7-day free trial
Start your journey

Strategies for Managing Financial Stress

Financial stress affects not only the household economy, but also emotional health and wellness. Fortunately, there are effective strategies to manage these situations and minimize their impact.

Creating a joint budget

The first step toward financial stability is to create a budget that reflects the couple's income and expenses. Make a list of your debts, regular expenses, and personal desires. Establishing spending categories and limits allows you to identify areas of savings and allocate resources more efficiently.

Establishing common financial goals

Defining clear and achievable financial goals can motivate you to commit to controlling your spending. Whether saving for a vacation, children's education, or retirement, having shared goals makes the couple work as a team, invites transparency and encourages open communication. Now, instead of fighting about making ends meet, you get to walk together towards a common dream, hand in hand. When you both know what you’re working so hard for, it’s easier to accept pitfalls and mistakes.

Effective communication

Talking about money can be difficult, but open and honest communication is key to managing financial stress. Establish regular times to discuss finances, listen without judgment, and express concerns or ideas openly, to help strengthen the relationship and find solutions together.

Stress management practices

Address the emotional stress that these situations create before it gets to you. Oftentimes, arguments happen because you haven’t had the emotional space to handle your stress. 

Hypnosis helps relax the mind, improve concentration, and foster a positive attitude toward financial management. It can be a powerful practice for reducing anxiety and improving communication within a couple.

Financial counseling

A financial advisor can offer guidance in managing debt and planning for the future. Being in the hands of someone who understands the ins and outs of personal economy and how it applies to each individual can help relieve the pressure and alleviate financial stress. Of course, hiring a professional to handle your ressources is an additional expense, so make that decision thoughtfully.

Strengthening the relationship despite hardship.

Financial difficulties can be a significant challenge for any couple, but they also offer the opportunity to deepen connection and commitment to each other. Here are some key strategies for strengthening your relationship in times of financial stress.

Share positive experiences.

Although financial concerns may dominate the conversation, it is vital to make space to share positive experiences together. Simple activities such as taking a walk, cooking a new recipe, or simply enjoying a movie at home can strengthen bonding and remind you why you are together.

Practice mutual gratitude.

Taking a moment each day to express gratitude for each other can change the perspective of the relationship. Acknowledging the little things, such as a household chore done or a supportive gesture, fosters an atmosphere of appreciation and caring.

Check out our article about practicing gratitude to improve your relationships.

Implementing relaxation and connection practices.

Practices such as guided meditation, partner yoga, or hypnosis can be extremely beneficial for managing stress and fostering a deeper connection. 

Hypnosis, in particular, can be a powerful tool for improving communication, reducing anxiety and increasing empathy within the relationship. Guided hypnosis sessions, either through a professional or Apps, can help couples find a state of deep relaxation together, opening new avenues of communication and understanding.

Setting shared goals and dreams.

Looking to the future and setting shared goals and dreams can help couples navigate financial stress with a sense of purpose. Planning together how to overcome current financial challenges and working toward common goals strengthens mutual commitment and collaboration.

Discover the power of self-hypnosis with Oneleaf

Exploring the possibilities of self-hypnosis with OneLeaf, we discovered a friendly and accessible tool designed to improve your well-being from the comfort of your home. OneLeaf has been developed by medical experts in hypnosis, ensuring a solid and effective scientific basis for your guided self-hypnosis programs. Oneleaf offers the flexibility to practice self-hypnosis anywhere, fitting seamlessly into your daily routine.

OneLeaf covers a wide range of concerns, from:

This tool stands out for its ease of use, allowing you to start your first session quickly and easily.

If you are considering trying self-hypnosis for the first time, take advantage of the free 7-day trial, it will cost you nothing to experience the benefits without commitment.

Read more